From Phoenix to South Dakota: My Journey

I Never Planned to Leave Phoenix

If you had asked me twenty years ago where I would spend the rest of my life, I would have answered without hesitation.

Phoenix.

I was born and raised there. My children were born and raised there. My family was there. My memories were there. I fully expected that one day I would be buried there too.

Life, however, had other plans.

During one of the most difficult seasons of my life, my attorney suggested that I consider a fresh start somewhere else. At first, the idea seemed impossible. How do you leave the place that shaped you? How do you pack up an entire lifetime and start over?

Three States, One Big Decision

As I began considering the possibility, three locations made the list.

Texas, where my brother and his family lived.

Missouri, where my mom and sister lived.

And South Dakota.

The interesting thing about South Dakota was that I didn’t know anyone there.

Most people would probably see that as a disadvantage. I saw it differently.

At the time, my son, daughter, and I needed space to heal. We needed room to breathe. We needed a place where our days weren’t filled with reminders, obligations, and distractions pulling us in every direction.

I loved my family deeply, but I also knew something about myself. I have a tendency to put other people’s needs ahead of my own. If I had moved closer to family, I likely would have spent my time taking care of everyone else before taking care of myself.

South Dakota offered something different.

Why I Chose a Place Where I Knew No One

It offered quiet.

It offered distance.

It offered the opportunity to focus on healing without feeling responsible for everyone around me.

Breaking the Rules of Grief

One of the most common pieces of advice given to people experiencing grief is, “Don’t make major life changes.”

I’ve never been very good at following rules simply because someone says they’re rules.

In fact, hearing that advice felt a little like a dare.

So I did exactly what many people said I shouldn’t do.

I packed up my life and headed north.

Looking back, I don’t regret it.

The Place That Became Home

South Dakota gave me something I didn’t know I needed. It taught me to slow down. It introduced me to a different pace of life. It showed me wide-open spaces, dirt roads, cattle, sunsets that seem to stretch forever, and a version of myself that I may never have discovered if I had stayed where I was comfortable.

What started as a temporary place to heal slowly became home.

Today, my adult children have also made South Dakota part of their story. My life looks very different than the one I imagined years ago in Phoenix, and honestly, I’m grateful for that.

Sometimes the Road Chooses You

Sometimes the path that finds us isn’t the one we planned.

Sometimes God answers our plans with a gentle “Nope.”

And sometimes the place you never expected to live becomes the place that helps you find yourself again.